Tuesday, 07 July 2009
-
Falling in love...
I wish falling in love didn't require vulnerability. That would make the prospect of falling in love so much less frightening to me. I hate being vulnerable.
I think the idea of falling in love is very frightening to me, because I've never done it before. One of my great flaws is that I'm a bit of a perfectionist; therefore, I don't like doing anything that I'm not sure I'm quite good at. I have no idea if I'm good at relationships, if I'll be a good girlfriend / eventually a good wife. Thus, it scares me so much! I don't want to fail.
In a previous blog, I asked about how one knows when they have crossed the line between liking someone and loving someone. SirNickDon asked me a question that really caused me to think. He asked, "Are you sure a line is the best metaphor here?"
Upon thinking about his question, I concluded that he was probably right; the line is not a good metaphor. But what is? I'd like to think that liking someone versus being in love with someone can be likened to standing on the edge of a cliff versus taking the jump off the cliff. The jumping off a cliff metaphor would cover both the idea of "falling" and also the vulnerability of falling in love. Yet, that seems to cliche.
What do you guys think? What is the proper metaphor for falling in love?
Pieces_of_a_Melody
-
recommend
- recs 1
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Post a Comment
- Back to Pieces_of_a_Melody's Xanga Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in Pieces_of_a_Melody's local time zone: GMT -06:00 (Central Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (12)
That's a good question... I need to think on this one.
@alltimelow22 - Let me know if you get an revelations on the matter.
Thanks for the rec!
I'd compare it to a newly planted seed. I've always thought that the term "falling in love" was somewhat inaccurate. I mean, I suppose it makes sense in that it often seems very sudden and, as you said, there's a sort of vulnerability implied by the expression, but...
Maybe it should be "growing in love." Like a seed, love requires a lot of things to "blossom." It's not something that suddenly happens out of nowhere; it takes a decent amount of time.
Also, a fresh seed is very vulnerable. If the conditions aren't exactly right, it'll never grow. And even after it's produced some sort of plant, or tree, or whatever, that plant (actually, let's say flower...that seems more in keeping with the idea of love), remains vulnerable to a lot of things and can easily be hurt, cut down, and destroyed.
The idea could easily be described in more detail, but...this is, after all, just a comment. Not a blog of its own. :)
Falling in love is the slow process of getting to know somone, somone that has things that you hold in common. There is no line you cross and no cliff you fall over. You don't fall in love yo gradually see more and more sides to a person that you agree with. You notice thier faults and you are at ease with these. You may want to change aspects to make them the perfect partner but I would advise against it. All you are truly looking for is a like minded soul, don't tie yourself to the limit of one sex. You never know where the perfect match is.
Sometimes you will settle for a close match and this will do until you find a closer match. Don't think of this as wrong as it is preferable for both parties. if somone thinks they have fallen deeply in love with you but you have not with them then it is ok to tell them that they do not meet your ctiteria and would not make them happy and thus defeat the purpose of both parties ultimate goal.
@EndlessDepths - I like your analogy, feels right. and I remember somone once saying that whenever you start a new relationship you should buy a plant. That way whichever one dies first you will know was the one who's company you weren't as keen on.
@EndlessDepths - Hmmmm, I like your metaphor. And I really like the idea of "growing in love." Maybe the falling thing can be more applied to lust or infatuation? But love takes time and care, just like a growing flower.
My first thought was "strapping on a vest made of C4, walking into an ammo storage warehouse, climbing into the middle of the largest stack of explosives in there and detonating your C4 vest..."
I actually figure that is pretty apt on a number of levels not the least of which is the complete destruction of yourself that seems to common from watching people who are "in love".
Of course this might not be helpful to you...
@mrcolorful - Typical... lol.
unfortunately, metaphors for love (the ones i know, anyway), make love sound like a sudden thing. and while that's part of what it means to love or be in love, that's not REALLY how it works, especially after you get over the purely emotional part of it.
ryc: um, there will be no giving my name to a melissa-bot!
Honestly, as a Christian, I think that what the Bible calls love and what we tend to think of as 'romantic love' are completely different (and many times unrelated) things. Love is an action. Love is about 'doing' (according to the Bible). To me, 'falling in love' is more about emotions and 'warm & fuzzy' feelings. There is no guarantee that will last. Real love (that the Bible talks about) is about making a commitment to someone (whether that's a romantic type relationship or not). To me that's what really matters.
@Pieces_of_a_Melody - Exactly what I was thinking. I've never believed in "love at first sight." I mean, how is it possible to love someone when you don't even know anything about them except that they're aesthetically pleasing? That's a bit shallow, and more on par with lust.
"me thinks" that the sign one has fell in love is when they become ready, willing and able to enter into a three way covenantal commitment . That is a action.
but, as my wife often comments, to pretend that it is devoid of any initial attraction or desire to be with that person because of some attribute (physical or personality) is misleading. Very few people get to the stage of falling in love with a person who they find repulsive or disgusting.